What Marriage should be.

I wonder often….which is worse….gay marriage or heterosexual marriage between people who have no business being married in the first place? How many “straight” people get married for the wrong reasons? I fell into that category. If marriage is truly an “institution”, then let’s take the word “gay” and “straight” out of the equation and call it marriage. We should celebrate love for what it is. True love is so hard to find in our current society. When it’s there, it should be celebrated. Survivor benefits are a cop out. Let love be love and leave it at that.

PS: What is more embarrassing for a child? Introducing his parents (dad and dad or mom and mom), or having to say, “this is my real dad and this is my step dad and this is my mom’s current boyfriend.” Stability vs. Instability. Once again, the Heteros have done a super-duper job in that category as well. (Sarcasm). Let people who believe in marriage get married. (I’m still not changing my picture to the = sign).

PPS: It amazes me to no end that we live in a country where heterosexuals get divorced at a 50%+ clip, yet a great many feel homosexual couples shouldn’t have the right to marry. Maybe it should be the other way around? (I’m half kidding about my last sentence.) Let people who love each other get married. They can’t do worse than straight people.

Why we let our kids win.

I wrote this months ago when I just started on wordpress.  Since nobody read it, and I have writer’s block today, I decided to bring it back!  Enjoy.

Parents will often find themselves in contests with their children.  Today was no exception.  My daughter Kat and I put on these silly plastic discs with Velcro padding and threw a tennis ball back and forth–the object being you catch the ball with the plastic disc, w/Velcro padding.  Ok….so the stage was set for some sort of competition.  Kat, age 6, threw the ball to me and I caught it.  Grandma said, one point for daddy.  I threw the ball to Kat, she caught it…you get the idea.  The “game” turned into a contest to see who could catch the most balls.  The Mayans would be proud.

We played to ten.  The score was Daddy 8, Kat 3, before I realized I needed to suddenly become completely inept at catching things.  Why?  Because kids need to win.  I know, I know, life is a bitch and kids need to learn we can’t always come out ahead.  I don’t care.  In a situation like this, you need to let your kid win.  They need to feel victorious and they need to feel the satisfaction of beating the person who can ground them if they talk back.  More than that, they need feel like they can have something to build on.  “Maybe I CAN throw and catch better than my dad.  The next time I’ll kick his ass even more.”

The final score–Kat 10, Daddy 9.  When the final catch was made, my daughter jumped up and down like she had just won the Stanley Cup.  It was a memory I will never forget.  Kids love little victories because they aren’t little–they are huge.  Parents need to remember that.  Kids need victories to know they are capable.  Just like Santa Claus is engrained in our minds and passed down from generation to generation, “throwing” games like I did today is a ritual every parent is faced with.  And I say, “God bless the ritual.”

I will trade a loss to my child for anything in the world, because I got to see the look on her face when she realized she beat her dad.  The next time we “lace up the skates”, she will be that much stronger and confident.  For those of us lucky enough to have kids, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Let your kids win when the opportunity is appropriate.  It’s a time-honored tradition that has been passed on from generation to generation.  And it’s a good thing.

Eating chips for breakfast is another story….that is one contest Daddy will always win.  And that’s good too.

Be well.

Call it sad, call it funny but it’s better than even money.

“I have walked out in rain–and back in rain…” –Robert Frost

Quote of the day: “Drought my ass!” This is compliments of a customer of mine, who like me has been watching it pour for the last 18 hours. It’s incredible how it can be nearly 60 degrees on January 29th in Michigan. Well, actually I shouldn’t be surprised–Antarctica and Greenland are half gone. (Don’t tell Congress.)

Superbowl Sunday is coming up which brings me to today’s topic. The TV Commercials. There was a time when they were awesome and probably the highlight of the game. I remember Spuds MacKenzie, The Bud Bowl, Budweiser’s “WhaaaaaaatsssssAhhhhhhhp” and all the hilarious Fed Ex Commercials. The novelty was there and the commercials truly were a thing of art–quickly making their way into the American fabric by Monday morning.

Now though–I just don’t get as excited about Super Bowl Ad’s. Watching Justin Timberlake and Elton John drink a Pepsi, or Snooki doing tax forms for H and R Block just doesn’t do it for me. Actually, the last few years have been horrific for SB commercials. Let’s hope this year is different. That and, let’s hope Go Daddy spends a TON on Danica Patrick commercials again.

DO you watch the Super Bowl? If so…are you into the commercials? Do tell!

16. That is the number of times I have passed a jar of Nutella at the grocery and paused, momentarily, before walking away resisting the temptation. I just can’t get myself to do it. I hear good things. It’s endorsed by my daughter and half her first grade class…I just can’t get myself to buy a jar of Nutella or anything with the word marmalade on it.

Last but not least for now…my 2013 “recycling like a mofo” project is proceeding wonderfully. I have always recycled, but this year I am taking it to a whole new level. I’m not a Greenpeace freak who tries to fit all my garbage in a coffee can for the year. Anything plastic, aluminum or paper gets recycled…period. And that is a ton of trash. Do you recycle? Is there anything that prevents you from doing more? Does your city still make you separate items or can you toss them all in one container?

Today is an audience participation day, my friends. Bring me your best comments and I will shower you with love and gifts. Or just love. Yes, probably just love because I am short on cash. Not like, stalking love. Friendly love that makes you smile. I forgot what I was talking about….

A $6.00 lesson.

My daughter and I have a bi-weekly tradition of skating which is quickly providing me with an enormous amount of aches and pains.  I overlook them, because…well…I am getting a chance to skate with my kid and you can’t replace memories like that.  Still, I hurt.  Today, I took a tumble for the ages, landing on my wrist and elbow.  I’m not going to get into details or even complain but let’s just say, it hurts to type.  I simply must blog though.  I am devoted, if anything. 

When you are 21 and fall to the ice, you get back up and keep skating.  When you are 41 and fall on your wrist and elbow, the following things go through your head.

1. What the hell am I doing on ice skates at age 41?

2. Why does it feel like a truck just ran over my arm?

3. If I tell my seven year-old we have to stop skating, will she cry?

4. Do I smell pizza and beer?  That would be awesome right about now.

After skating, we went out for frozen yogurt at a place called Koala Berry.  Maybe you have a Koala Berry where you live, or a place similar.  You choose from 15 or so amazing flavors, then dump about 100 ounces of toppings at .45 cents an ounce on top of it, then eat like you’ve never had a sundae before.  I went for the birthday cake flavor with hot fudge and peanuts and crushed kit kat’s.  A simple, yet delicate blend of sugar, sugar and sugar.  Yum.

My daughter picked a flavor called root beer float.  She added a variety of candy, hot fudge, marshmallows and Sour Patch Kids.  Gummy bears with a sour kick from hell.  I first had Sour Patch Kids while on a movie date in high school.  They were so incredible, I quickly ate two bags and forgot who I was out with.  On ice cream though?  I asked my daughter if she was certain she wanted to add them to her already (rather disgusting) ice cream.  She nodded in the affirmative.  I swear I saw one of the sour patch kids cringe as she sprinkled them on top.

We let our kids top their sundaes because they need to learn about failure on their own.  We need to let them do it, because without the experience of Sour Patch Kids, Root Beer Float and Hot Fudge (and marshmallows and kit kats and M and M’s), they can’t learn for themselves that some things look better than they taste. 

After three bites of her $6.00 sundae, my daughter was done.  Chalk it up to experience, I guess.  Maybe I’m a sucker for her deep blue eyes.  Maybe I just can’t tell her no.  One thing we both realized today–a Root Beer Float flavored frozen yogurt with the toppings mentioned above is something you try once in your life and then never again.  Like sticking your finger in a light socket or zipping up a little too fast, all it takes is one time to realize you never need to do that again to be happy!

Sadly, I did notice a gummy worm and crushed candy cane compartment close to the Sour Patch Kids.  With 14 other flavors of frozen yogurt left to try plus a ton of other toppings, something tells me we are in for a great deal of $6.00 lessons in the near future.

This is why we parent.  🙂