Call it sad, call it funny but it’s better than even money.

“I have walked out in rain–and back in rain…” –Robert Frost

Quote of the day: “Drought my ass!” This is compliments of a customer of mine, who like me has been watching it pour for the last 18 hours. It’s incredible how it can be nearly 60 degrees on January 29th in Michigan. Well, actually I shouldn’t be surprised–Antarctica and Greenland are half gone. (Don’t tell Congress.)

Superbowl Sunday is coming up which brings me to today’s topic. The TV Commercials. There was a time when they were awesome and probably the highlight of the game. I remember Spuds MacKenzie, The Bud Bowl, Budweiser’s “WhaaaaaaatsssssAhhhhhhhp” and all the hilarious Fed Ex Commercials. The novelty was there and the commercials truly were a thing of art–quickly making their way into the American fabric by Monday morning.

Now though–I just don’t get as excited about Super Bowl Ad’s. Watching Justin Timberlake and Elton John drink a Pepsi, or Snooki doing tax forms for H and R Block just doesn’t do it for me. Actually, the last few years have been horrific for SB commercials. Let’s hope this year is different. That and, let’s hope Go Daddy spends a TON on Danica Patrick commercials again.

DO you watch the Super Bowl? If so…are you into the commercials? Do tell!

16. That is the number of times I have passed a jar of Nutella at the grocery and paused, momentarily, before walking away resisting the temptation. I just can’t get myself to do it. I hear good things. It’s endorsed by my daughter and half her first grade class…I just can’t get myself to buy a jar of Nutella or anything with the word marmalade on it.

Last but not least for now…my 2013 “recycling like a mofo” project is proceeding wonderfully. I have always recycled, but this year I am taking it to a whole new level. I’m not a Greenpeace freak who tries to fit all my garbage in a coffee can for the year. Anything plastic, aluminum or paper gets recycled…period. And that is a ton of trash. Do you recycle? Is there anything that prevents you from doing more? Does your city still make you separate items or can you toss them all in one container?

Today is an audience participation day, my friends. Bring me your best comments and I will shower you with love and gifts. Or just love. Yes, probably just love because I am short on cash. Not like, stalking love. Friendly love that makes you smile. I forgot what I was talking about….

A $6.00 lesson.

My daughter and I have a bi-weekly tradition of skating which is quickly providing me with an enormous amount of aches and pains.  I overlook them, because…well…I am getting a chance to skate with my kid and you can’t replace memories like that.  Still, I hurt.  Today, I took a tumble for the ages, landing on my wrist and elbow.  I’m not going to get into details or even complain but let’s just say, it hurts to type.  I simply must blog though.  I am devoted, if anything. 

When you are 21 and fall to the ice, you get back up and keep skating.  When you are 41 and fall on your wrist and elbow, the following things go through your head.

1. What the hell am I doing on ice skates at age 41?

2. Why does it feel like a truck just ran over my arm?

3. If I tell my seven year-old we have to stop skating, will she cry?

4. Do I smell pizza and beer?  That would be awesome right about now.

After skating, we went out for frozen yogurt at a place called Koala Berry.  Maybe you have a Koala Berry where you live, or a place similar.  You choose from 15 or so amazing flavors, then dump about 100 ounces of toppings at .45 cents an ounce on top of it, then eat like you’ve never had a sundae before.  I went for the birthday cake flavor with hot fudge and peanuts and crushed kit kat’s.  A simple, yet delicate blend of sugar, sugar and sugar.  Yum.

My daughter picked a flavor called root beer float.  She added a variety of candy, hot fudge, marshmallows and Sour Patch Kids.  Gummy bears with a sour kick from hell.  I first had Sour Patch Kids while on a movie date in high school.  They were so incredible, I quickly ate two bags and forgot who I was out with.  On ice cream though?  I asked my daughter if she was certain she wanted to add them to her already (rather disgusting) ice cream.  She nodded in the affirmative.  I swear I saw one of the sour patch kids cringe as she sprinkled them on top.

We let our kids top their sundaes because they need to learn about failure on their own.  We need to let them do it, because without the experience of Sour Patch Kids, Root Beer Float and Hot Fudge (and marshmallows and kit kats and M and M’s), they can’t learn for themselves that some things look better than they taste. 

After three bites of her $6.00 sundae, my daughter was done.  Chalk it up to experience, I guess.  Maybe I’m a sucker for her deep blue eyes.  Maybe I just can’t tell her no.  One thing we both realized today–a Root Beer Float flavored frozen yogurt with the toppings mentioned above is something you try once in your life and then never again.  Like sticking your finger in a light socket or zipping up a little too fast, all it takes is one time to realize you never need to do that again to be happy!

Sadly, I did notice a gummy worm and crushed candy cane compartment close to the Sour Patch Kids.  With 14 other flavors of frozen yogurt left to try plus a ton of other toppings, something tells me we are in for a great deal of $6.00 lessons in the near future.

This is why we parent.  🙂

In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees.

14554_4761667211871_561028493_n

Ever have a day when you just want to make a silly face and laugh at the world? Sometimes a funny face and a good giggle is the best medicine.

I’ve read a lot of wonderful posts today and I drank 2 mugs of black tea. This alone has changed my life for the better. I feel more positive and I am pumped with antioxidants. Here is one example of a super post I came across on my reader today.

I’m going to keep this post short and sweet. I want to thank the 67 people who follow my blog. It means a lot that you stop by and read. I’d love to hear from you! Always feel free to stop by and give me a shout.

It’s a cold wintry day today–I’m about to go outside and walk in the snow. It doesn’t get much better than that! What do you like to do on winter days like today?

Be well.

An Interview with LOL.

Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with LOL and conducting an interview.  The following is a transcript of our talk.  Enjoy!

Irish: Welcome, LOL!  It’s sure great to have this chance to finally meet you.

LOL: LOL.

IR: You have become such a large part of the fabric of the Internet.  How does that make you feel?

LOL: Well, at first I was excited, because it’s tough for abbreviations to become famous.  My cousin, “as-if”, tried to make it big, but some jerk programmer took “AI” (Artificial intelligence).  So he was screwed.  Now though, I just kind of take it in stride. lol.

IR: I have to be honest.  I go to great lengths to avoid using you in any situation.  I rarely ever lol, and I think most people overuse you.

LOL: lol.  See what I did just then?  I didn’t think your comment was funny at all, but I still lol’d.  That’s why I love me.  People have no idea if I am being sincere.  I’m mysterious that way.

IR: There is a rumor out there that you and ROFL truly hate each other. 

LOL: First of all, if you are on the damn floor rolling around and laughing, you better be having sex or tripping on some kind of mushroom.  Nobody rolls on the floor laughing.  ROFL is a phony.  Don’t even get me started on ROFLMAO.  That phrase just plain pisses me off. 

IR: I have to agree with you on that one.  So what do you do at family reunions?  I mean, you are bound to run into ROFL and ROFLMAO at some point.  Maybe at the buffet or during the family picture? 

LOL: lol. ROFL isn’t invited to our reunions anymore.  At the last one he pulled a prank on my uncle LMAO and it got pretty nasty.  ROFLMAO isn’t related to me.  That is an an abbreviation invented by people from the south who are still pissed they finished in second place during the Civil War.  I bet you didn’t know that.

IR: I honestly had no idea!  How interesting!  Are you into American History at all?  It sure sounds like it.

LOL: I hear that Grant LOL’d when Lee thought he could take Gettysburg.  I also heard that Washington LOL’d when his wife Martha thought one of the Minutemen had a thing for her. 

IR: I have to say, you are more intelligent than I ever thought you would be!  Are there any other acronyms or abbreviations that you think will make a splash in 2013 and beyond?

LOL: Yes…SPITTAA

IR: ???

LOL: Stupid People Interviewing Things That Aren’t Alive.

IR: Clever.  Is it true that lol is a slight laugh and LOL means I am just busting a gut?

LOL: Yes.  If you just lol, it means that you found it mildly funny. A lot of people don’t know that and it pisses me off.  LOL means you almost peed yourself. 

IR: There needs to be a public service message about that, I think.

LOL: Yes, Irish…we need to get the word out to all the school kids in America on the proper use of lol.  lol.  Maybe after that we can teach them how to write a sentence or do a math problem.  That would be cool, don’t you think?  lol.

IR: You are just dripping with sarcasm tonight.  One last thing.  I hear that you and IDK are dating.  Any truth to that rumor?

LOL: Idk.

IR: Yes.

LOL: Right.  I said, Idk.

IR: I know, I asked if you were dating.

LOL: ROFLMAO.

IR: You suck.

 

That’s not a panini. It’s an English Muffin with ham in it.

I woke up this morning a bit disappointed in my last post, which is now erased for lack of decent content. When I get on a roll, I often forget the “quality vs quantity” thing. At any rate, if you did take time to read that post last night, I appreciate it.

Here are some things floating around in my head today. Feel free to drop me a comment or two and chime in. I love hearing different perspectives.

1. The NRA needs to shut the hell up. Seriously. Ok, I get it. You like guns and our rights. Thank you. Now shut up. Have your conventions and hoot and holla all you want. This is not the appropriate time to be chirping your rhetoric on the news and Internet. Just shut up. My that felt good.

2. PS: People who cite the Bill of Rights for anything need a good enema and a dose of reality.

3. I have no earthly clue why I just went postal on the NRA.

4. I miss the word “postal”. I think that was an 80’s word. I miss the word “shazam” too. I try to creep that word into conversations, hoping it will catch on and go viral, but no luck.

5. Speaking of postal, the US Postal Service is raising prices again and whining because they aren’t making any money. Here’s an idea. Shut up. Fund it better, cancel Saturday mail and encourage people who work there to act human and smile once in awhile. When I am paying $45.98 for a 2 oz. package going three counties over, I at least want Joe behind the counter to smile and say thank you. It lessens the blow. And no…I don’t want stamps today.

6. I think it’s important to stay as positive as you can. (laughing).

If you have something you’d like to get off your chest, list it below. Let’s hear from you. My goal is to build this blog into a cultural phenomenon. Ok, not really. But if you join in, it will make me happy. I hope each of you has an amazing day.

–c

Dear Punxsutawney Phil, LOL!!! Love, Global Warming.

If Punxsutawney Phil emerges from his hole and sees his shadow, we are supposed to experience another 6 weeks of winter.  That’s folklore for you.  Now let’s discuss reality.  Global warming says, “not a chance in hell”.  I’m tired of people talking about how global warming is changing weather patterns on Earth.  It bores me.  Yes, I know, it’s hot out there.  What I want to know is, what the hell is global warming going to do to poor Punxsutawney Phil?  

I live in Michigan.  While it isn’t the North Pole, it’s not exactly Cuba.  When I wake up in June and see the temperature set to be a balmy 105 degrees, I start to wonder.  Last week, the low temperature in Los Angeles was lower than the low where I live.  In January.  What the sam hell is going on?

I know.  Global warming.  Emissions.  I get it.  I am on board.  But I am a curious sort of fellow.  I like to go beyond the obvious and ask questions that make people think.  So here is my question.  What will become of Groundhog Day?  Obviously, we need to make some changes…right?  So I have a few amendments for future Groundhog Days.  Read them, and tell me what you think.

1.)  If the Groundhog sees his shadow, it means three more weeks of winter for the Yukon and parts of the Northwest Territory, in Canada.  For all other part of North America, it’s time to start buying seeds for your garden. 

2.) If the Groundhog doesn’t see his shadow, Walmart, Target and K-Mart will immediately discount all swimwear 50% for the next six weeks.  If you purchase swimwear at Walmart, you get a tax deduction of $500. If you take the deduction, you have to wear a pin that says, “I bought my Speedo at Walmart” for a month, during swim season.

3.) The guy in the big top hat that pulls Punxsutawney Phil out of his hole has to start wearing a t-shirt that says, “I used to celebrate Groundhog Day and all I got was this lousy T-shirt, thanks to global warming.”

I think these are reasonable ideas.  Look folks, life is changing all around us.  I saw Star Wars.  Earth turns into this barren land with no natural resources and Darth Vader kicks everyone’s ass.  It’s a scary thought.  Luckily, I will be dead when this happens, but still…I’m frightened.

Enjoy this Groundhog Day.  If Phil sees his shadow, the end result is likely bullshit.  We have to accept this and move on.  Global Warming has ruined an American institution.  Are we going to sit still and take it?  I say no!  We need our heroes!!

Orange sherbet push ups and Corpus Christi, Texas.

I was walking close to the road today.  No, I am not a wanderer, or a gypsy, or a hitchhiker.  (I had to get the mail.)  I looked down and noticed something I hadn’t seen in years.  It was an orange push up container.  The ice cream in it was of course, gone–but there it was.  My childhood–laying on the road in the middle of Michigan.  You remember don’t you?  Outside playing capture the flag or baseball and suddenly, you hear it.  The sweet sound of the Ice Cream truck riding through the neighborhood.  You race to your house, grab whatever change you can find then sprint to the powder blue truck.  The nice man with 5 teeth asks what you want.  You are faced with the decision of a lifetime.  A bomb pop?  One of those plastic cones with ice cream and a gumball at the bottom?  

No–you want ol’ reliable.  The sweet taste of an orange sherbet in a container that YOU can control.  You have the power to determine the ice cream distribution–even at a young age.  True independence is just around the corner.  Today it’s an orange push up, tomorrow your first car and fast women….but I digress.

I love it when you see something out of the blue, in a place you never expected to see anything at all and it brings back a fond memory.  Triggers, when they bring on something positive, can be so much fun.  

Of course, every once in awhile I’ll pass the fish counter at the market, or smell my garbage can the day after my leftover salmon has been tossed in the trash.  That smell will forever remind me of Corpus Christi, Texas.  The lovely scent of fish, oil and sweat all rolled into one.  Corpus Christi.  I spent a week there one day.  Chalk that up as a negative trigger, indeed!

I miss the ice cream man.  I miss those old trucks with the loud music.  I miss snow cones and fudge bars.  I know–I can go to the store and find most of that anytime I want, but it’s just not the same.  Some things are meant only for the innocence of childhood.  It’s funny how an old wrapper on the road reminded me of that.

Be well.